People fail to understand that being a parent should be a choice one should make. How is parenting one of the most demanding tasks and why should people be free to decide whether or not to get into it? Let’s talk!
A while back I had an altercation with one of my siblings. Actually, it was two of us against one sibling, LOL. And then my mum came in between us, screaming at ourselves.
She started by trying to get all of us to keep quiet, so that one person can speak. And so she did that until everyone had a chance to speak and air their grievances.
And that was how she settled the dispute. That very adept way she handled it, was amazing to me.
Someone may dismiss that as something anyone can do. But trust me, standing as an intermediary for three screaming teenagers requires understanding, practicality and ofcourse, respect from them. Teenagers have to rate you. So if you’re not someone they rate or you’re not their parent, you can move along.
In that moment it occurred to me that parenting is indeed crazy. Like it’s something different from the everyday work you step out to do. It’s more technical, more serious.
It’s like you’re so many things in one.
As a parent you sometimes become a judge(like my mum was), sometimes a teacher, sometimes you become a doctor, sometimes a therapist. You’re literally taking on roles that in your past life you may have sworn you wouldn’t know how to do.
I also realized that not everybody can be a parent. NOT EVERYBODY should become a parent. Not everybody is even ready to take on another human as a responsibility.
We have so many deadbeat dad’s and deadbeat mum’s because some were not ready!.
Because being a parent entails that you are now responsible for another human, even if you’ve never felt responsible for anyone in the your life. Being a parent requires some level of maturity, whether it’s before the baby or when the baby is born. Bottomline is, you have to grow up.
It’s not even something that anyone should be pushed into.
It’s hilarious and insane when I see people pressure others to have children.
Some people as kids, are already excited to grow up and have babies, although at that age you may say “they don’t know what they are saying”, which is likely true. But thing is, some really take that excitement to adulthood. The excitement to grow up, get married, have kids.
And to many, that’s how it should be; you’re supposed to aspire to get married and have children. People believe it should be a thing of joy for EVERYBODY. But is that true? Does everyone have to feel that way?
I do not believe that.
We cringe at people who say they don’t want to have kids.
In Africa especially, we just don’t think people like that are mentally stable and so we start to express worry and concern for that person, LOL. But it’s not something you want to force someone into!.
There are couples who get married and go “we aren’t having kids, ever”. Like they both make and agree to this decision, and we think “no no, these ones have to be crazy”. Because alot of us think the sole aim of marriage is procreation (which is not true, by the way).
Truthfully, some people just marry because they are inlove with eachother and would love to spend the rest of their lives with eachother, void of kids. Void of being responsible for anyother person.
Call it selfish, but it’s their decision. If they aren’t up for it, they aren’t up for it. I don’t think the bible ever made procreation a must; since we always use the bible to backup our own personal beliefs.
So in my opinion, let’s stop pushing others to have kids. Let it be a spontaneous decision. Some of us literally push people into marriages to have kids that they aren’t really prepared to have.
Some of us actually say “atleast go have kids even if you don’t want to get married, to feel the void in your life”
Muser’s, if you’re a parent reading this or you hope to be a parent, please be a good one. If you don’t think you’re up to the task, please don’t get into it.
Don’t end up making someone you brought to the world hate you, because you just could not be a parent.
Do not be pressured into bringing children to the world, if you aren’t ready for it or you do not ever want to have kids.
Do not push people into having kids when they are not up for it. Stop judging people who make the decision to not have kids.
Many times when it’s a woman we say, “she just wants to keep sleeping around and not have kids”. Or we say “she’s a stubborn woman”. Or “she’s married to her carrier, that’s why she doesn’t want to have kids.
For men we say “He is irresponsible and cannot take care of a child” People actually go as far as accusing men of impotency and other ridiculous things, when it’s just them deciding to not have children.
All these judgements!
Respect people’s decisions. Allow people make decisions for their lives, especially decisions as serious as that. Think carefully before you make decisions. Do you, be you.
*What do you think about today’s thought? Are you still of the opinion that everyone should be a parent or do you agree that not everyone should or can be a parent? What are your thoughts on parenthood? Please share your opinions. Love and kisses.